Forgiveness and Trust !!!!!

Trust is both important and dangerous. It is important because it allows us to form relationships with others and to depend on others—for love, for advice, for help . Trust always involves the risk that the trusted person (hereafter, the “trustee”) will not pull through for the trusting person (hereafter, the “truster”). If the truster could guarantee that the trustee would pull through, then the truster would have no need to trust that person. The truster therefore cannot assume, while trusting, that the trustee will do what s/he is trusted to do because the trustee has no legitimate choice in the matter. Since people often can choose whether to pull through for us, we often need to trust them.

Trusting someone, no matter what your relationship to them, is taking a huge leap of faith and is very difficult to do. Everyone has some degree and level of trust issues. And each person allows their trust issues to color the way they see the world around them, not just in relationships. It's hard to know if you can trust someone even a little bit, and trying to decide whether or not to trust someone is difficult at best, impossible at worst.

When we have been hurt by a person close to us, how do we let go of resentment, forgive, and rebuild trust? It's important to understand that letting go of resentment is something we can do regardless of whether the other person takes responsibility for his/her actions.Letting go of resentment can be achieved by personal journaling or by finding a compassionate and empathic friend who will listen to your story.But can you forgive the other person? Forgiving depends on your understanding the feelings and motives of the person that hurt you, and making sure that the other person understands how you were affected. Now to rebuild the trust. I may be able to let go of resentment, I may come to understand the other person and forgive him/her, but if I do not see evidence of this willingness to make changes, it may not be possible for me to trust that person again.Rebuilding trust is a gradual process that can take weeks, months, or sometimes even years.

For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe...A human being is only interesting if he's in contact with himself. I learned you have to trust yourself, be what you are, and do what you ought to do the way you should do it. You have got to discover you, what you do, and trust it.

Now I am adding a Poem written by Mehr called Trust [ which made me think and write about trust and forgiveness , thanks Mehr :-) ]

Suddenly I find myself in this scorching summer heat 

In the middle of a desert.. 

the earth refusing to be kind 

The sun glaring at me with cruel eyes 

Devoid of all softness, your comforting presence 

Everything that I felt homely... is gone now 

Worshipping idols, 

having faith in their stone cold hearts 

I fell astray from the reality... 

The reality of God 

The reality of the kind angels 

The motherhood of nature 

And the comfort of family.... 

You made me deny all for you 

And then... you denied me.... 

I'm astray... searching for life once again 

A long, lonely road ahead of me.... 

O mama, come hold me... 

I miss you Papa, scold me for who I have been 

Come back and love me.... 

I feel so indignified.... all the ugliness inside me 

Make me cry and let me wash them away 

I want to be the baby girl in your arms mama 

The little girl you loved so much....

I want to be your pride papa 

The little girl who spread wonders when she smiled... 

A long way to go... this is just the beginning .

But in this life.. I learn 

We cannot always have what we yearn 

No matter how much we love it so... 

Trust can be the hardest thing you'll ever do.