Off late the most talked about topic for most of my friends and me is MARRIAGE.Either some cousin is getting married.. or a best friend.. either you have decided to push the whole thing off by couple of years..or remain a spinster... or its just that you are trying to find a suitable match for yourself and finding a that to be very hard..
I remember this conversation in my flat.. we ( i.e Aigerim and me) made wanji literally plan the whole of her wedding.From the location of her wedding in kenya to the way she's getting dressed.. thrashed if it would be a church wedding.. hnnm what kind of dress would she wear.. and which would be the best location according to their customs and would it be so far off for both the bride and groom side.. which month of the year should it be.. oh my gosh.. hehe all of us just went on and on .. well obviously we took turns in planning our own weddings..
well considering this all started with a one single topic of trying to know more about each other's custom which lasted through quite a few cups of coffee's.. hot chocolate.. and thus led to the final planning.. and aigerim yawninggg .. so that was the end.. err atleast for the time being. ( i think )
Well marriage is something that a girl and guy do errr we are in the time of civil partnerships.. so since most of my friends are straight.. i shall just stick to the whole concept of guy marrying a girl.. than the same sex.. so yeah.. so when the girl and guy decide that yes we would be compatible enough for the rest of our life.. so lets just get married.. this is obviously out of L.O.V.E for the other person. This what is termed as The Love Marriage... Most of my friends recently are falling in this gener.. So things are changing..
Now then there is something called the Arranged Marriage.. which most of my friends here in dundee.. really find it hard to understand.. and has lead to such numerous conversations .. that i have stopped keeping a count. Times are changing though.. But for the arranged marriage to just go away completely welll.. that sure'll take a while. Now what is this arranged marriage.. well its simple.. here a member from your family is introduced to the groom's family.. they check each other's background.. etc etc.. and there is this small thing called horoscopes ( okkk soh stop laughing).. yeah.. where they check with the time u were born.. the d.o.b and see if thats also compatible with ur would be's... obviously you would have to be from the same caste and religion.. which goes without saying.. ( considering there is so many different caste's and religion in India.. and so many different languages as well.. shouldn't be surprised.)
Now if all this is cleared.. then you are allowed to meet the guy . And then you like the person.. ( which most of them time you get only one chance to speak ) and say if you liked the person or not.. Sometimes you might just not get the chance to choosee ( which is very rare now) also.. depends.. Err yeah no dates before things are fixed.. may be the occasional phone coversations.. any dates is after the alliance is fixed.... yeah so once things are fixed you could meet up/ call up.. but yeah other wise.. Can't see any of that happening.
Now this trend is changing... Considering most of my friends.. have come under the L.O.V.E marriage gener.. and parents are becoming more open minded though.. ( Err still trying to figure out which one my parents fall in though.. ).. anyways.. this is about the initial hassle.. will write about the different customs and rituals later.. hehe
1 day ago