The Butterfly Effect..

The Butterfly Effect...How Your Life Matters,
by Andy Andrews

Not long ago, I finally told the story of when, at the age of twenty-three, homeless and scared, I was given guidance in a most unusual fashion by an old man named Jones. What the old man told me did nothing less than change my life and my future. He said..."With a little perspective you can live a life of permanent purpose."

When I asked what he meant, the old man answered with a question. "Do you sometimes find yourself unconsciously judging your actions by level of importance?" I frowned a bit, not certain I understood. "For instance, "he continued, "the time you spend with friends is important, but the time you spend with family, is more important. You might rank an hour fishing as very important, thirty minutes visiting a sick friend in the hospital much more important than the fishing, and a sixty second conversation with a convenience store clerk as not very important at all."

I nodded my understanding and he returned to his initial point. "When you know that everything matters - that every move counts as much as any other - you will begin living a life of permanent purpose. A life of permanent purpose will make you a better parent, a better spouse, and a more valuable friend. Your productivity and financial success will soar to new heights while the old days of uncertainty, doubt, and depression fade into the past."

Of course, that conversation with Jones changed me. But even more, it became the guiding force that produced the kind of speaker and author I have become. You see, I understand fully that my very value as an author and speaker must ultimately be judged by the success you achieve. And as I consult with companies or speak to organizations and teams, I am keenly aware that much of my client's (your) ability to succeed beyond imagination depends upon my ability to prove this very concept!

When a sales organization sees proof that casual conversations in town matter just as much as an arranged meeting with a major prospect -

When the second string right-guard sees proof that his every action on and off the field, whether he plays or not, is as critical to the team's successful season as everything the starting quarterback does -

When a teenager sees and understands proof that every choice made in leisure today will affect the choices that will be available to him in more pressing times ahead -

When one lives a life of permanent purpose, sales figures soar, team chemistry thrives, and teenage decisions become wiser and more cautious. And these are just a few examples of what will happen... Simply put, when we understand that every action matters, every result of our actions immediately improves!

In these pages, I know you will find hope and direction for yourself, but I am most excited that you will now be equipped to lead others to their own life of permanent purpose! My hope for our families, our places of worship, our businesses, our nation, and our world is an incredible life of permanent purpose that can be achieved when at last we understand: Every move we make and every action we take, matters not just for us, but for all of us...and for all time.

Forgiveness and Trust !!!!!

Trust is both important and dangerous. It is important because it allows us to form relationships with others and to depend on others—for love, for advice, for help . Trust always involves the risk that the trusted person (hereafter, the “trustee”) will not pull through for the trusting person (hereafter, the “truster”). If the truster could guarantee that the trustee would pull through, then the truster would have no need to trust that person. The truster therefore cannot assume, while trusting, that the trustee will do what s/he is trusted to do because the trustee has no legitimate choice in the matter. Since people often can choose whether to pull through for us, we often need to trust them.

Trusting someone, no matter what your relationship to them, is taking a huge leap of faith and is very difficult to do. Everyone has some degree and level of trust issues. And each person allows their trust issues to color the way they see the world around them, not just in relationships. It's hard to know if you can trust someone even a little bit, and trying to decide whether or not to trust someone is difficult at best, impossible at worst.

When we have been hurt by a person close to us, how do we let go of resentment, forgive, and rebuild trust? It's important to understand that letting go of resentment is something we can do regardless of whether the other person takes responsibility for his/her actions.Letting go of resentment can be achieved by personal journaling or by finding a compassionate and empathic friend who will listen to your story.But can you forgive the other person? Forgiving depends on your understanding the feelings and motives of the person that hurt you, and making sure that the other person understands how you were affected. Now to rebuild the trust. I may be able to let go of resentment, I may come to understand the other person and forgive him/her, but if I do not see evidence of this willingness to make changes, it may not be possible for me to trust that person again.Rebuilding trust is a gradual process that can take weeks, months, or sometimes even years.

For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe...A human being is only interesting if he's in contact with himself. I learned you have to trust yourself, be what you are, and do what you ought to do the way you should do it. You have got to discover you, what you do, and trust it.

Now I am adding a Poem written by Mehr called Trust [ which made me think and write about trust and forgiveness , thanks Mehr :-) ]

Suddenly I find myself in this scorching summer heat 

In the middle of a desert.. 

the earth refusing to be kind 

The sun glaring at me with cruel eyes 

Devoid of all softness, your comforting presence 

Everything that I felt homely... is gone now 

Worshipping idols, 

having faith in their stone cold hearts 

I fell astray from the reality... 

The reality of God 

The reality of the kind angels 

The motherhood of nature 

And the comfort of family.... 

You made me deny all for you 

And then... you denied me.... 

I'm astray... searching for life once again 

A long, lonely road ahead of me.... 

O mama, come hold me... 

I miss you Papa, scold me for who I have been 

Come back and love me.... 

I feel so indignified.... all the ugliness inside me 

Make me cry and let me wash them away 

I want to be the baby girl in your arms mama 

The little girl you loved so much....

I want to be your pride papa 

The little girl who spread wonders when she smiled... 

A long way to go... this is just the beginning .

But in this life.. I learn 

We cannot always have what we yearn 

No matter how much we love it so... 

Trust can be the hardest thing you'll ever do.

New Beginning !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish that you could feel
My arms about you tight
Holding you up close
All thru out the night

That you could hear me say
All you need to hear
As I tell you of my love
Whispered soft against your ear

All the words you said to me
That seemed to be so true
Were nothing but thoughtless lies
That I thought would never come from you

They seemed so real and seemed so true
I was begining to think
That I was in love with you

But I should have known that it was all an act
That I was just another part
Just another girl to add

To your list of broken hearts

And yes I still Love you
Yes I still Care
But Trust is essential
And that is not there

I used to cry so many times a day
but lately those tears have been fading away
Yes, it's been hard,
but I'm getting back my life that
I've even managed to put away the knife

Do I still love you? Yes, I do
but another part of me is getting over you

I am hoping that my brighter day
soon will come and
maybe, just maybe
I'll find that special someone.

What I think ...... !!!!!!!

In the past few weeks all I have been hearing from my friends and close ones are statements like ..

"God , What's wrong ? Why doesn't he understand what I'm trying to say.. "

"I thought.. it was all going great.. and then this happened.. "

"It happened out of no where.. I didn't have a clue that this was about to happen ... To me "

"God.. I feel like such a fool..."

Am sure most of us have had these kind of thoughts and feelings when it comes to the special someone or a close friend.. and we end up going.. Why ???

What does the person really expect of us ???

And this is what most of my guy friends ask me.. Well I thought let me just write something about it.. Hopefully if possible give some insights ( If i can that is....and plus I don't wanna give away all our secrets now.. would I ;) ]

Other day i came across this Post from Still Thinking.. and her recent post titled We , the women . Its giving a small insight the way we women think.. And it is so true..

Sometimes we really don't know what we want.. or why exactly we want certain things .. but just that we want it. :)

I am confusing you already aren't I. Hehe sorry that's how we are :).. or in this case I'm. :P

Now what is it that keeps any relationship healthy..?? Well this is what I think are important for any kind of relationship.. for it to go on smoothly.

There is this Mutual respect : Respect in a relationship means that each person values what the other person is and understands it .. and would never challenge it.

Then comes Trust..Say you happen to talk to some other random guy and your BF passes by or vice versa.. Yes there might be some jealousy.. but then that's a natural emotion. How one deals with it, that's entirely a different ball game.

This is where Honesty plays a big role. This goes hand in hand with Trust because it is tough to trust someone when one of you isn't being honest about things.

Support.. Its not only in bad times that you need the support.. you still would like someone to be with you when you are at the top of the world and feeling good about what has happened . Some people don't know how to handle the good things.. they will be there for giving you the shoulder to cry on but not otherwise.. and vice versa.

Communication.. The most vital of the lot.. Yes men and women don't seem to speak the same language or think the same way.. but then that's why one has to talk in order to understand what the other person is trying to tell you. And in case if you need to think about it before you talk it out then the person will appreciate you letting them know about it. :)

Now coming back to the statements and this whole being in the relationship thing.. One would wonder why people understand what they really want.

Is it because one's wants ( or the priorities ) changes as time goes by ???

Because most of the time.. everyone is so easy to be around with.. Just our normal self's.. But then something happens.. and we go in to they Hyper mode.. Well for girls at least we always have the excuse of PMS ( plz guys don't ask me what that is.. can't explain :P ).

But what excuse do the guys have ? ( will love to hear about this one.. )

I have known instances when I have been introduced to people and to laugh at them. I know its rude. Its not that I'm perfect either I do have my flaws. But then I think I don't emphasis on my flaws as much as the other person had. It could just be the way they say certain words.. or their laugh.. And you just find it hilarious. ( I think I'm more like the Chandler from Friends who has to comment on things that he sees . )

A small tip for all my male friends out there. The best thing that you can do if you are in a relationship and would like to understand the woman is to Remember . Whether

remembering her birthday or something that you guys had spoken about a while back because when you remember it shows that you care enough to tell it back to her. And that means you were paying attention to her . I am sure if we ask our parents especially our dad's they will tell us the same thing. :)

Because any time a man forgets .. woman feels that he doesn't care enough about her.Even though the guy must have showed her how he cares for her in different other ways.

And most men ( after the long conversations that I have had been the agony aunt for few of my friends ) they love the straightforwardness when we talk.. and they like their women to be confident .. they like to take care of their women how much ever we say that we are independent this is one way of them showing their chivalry .. so we need to deal with it.. :)

Now I shall wait to see what you guys think.. :) chao

P:S I am also including a post that my friend Karthik had written couple of months back and I think thats another beautiful narration of what I was trying to tell here. Plz follow this link. Click here. I hope you will either leave comments over there or here about your views about the same. Thank you :)

Think of ...........me !!!!!!!!!!!

Another addition to my random thoughts.. I am sure everyone has does this..

Think..

Come on there wouldn't be one single person who at some point or the other just sat back and thought about what is happening in his/her life and how one can plan ahead. Or sometimes just randomly think about things which is no way connected to our mundane life.. but still we do that.. Just think about it.. considering this is part of my random thoughts.. that shows how much i do think ... :)

Some one asks you .. especially when you have this lost or blank face.. all you say to them is.."Oh I was just thinking.. " and if the next question was what about.. Then the immediate reply will be.. "Nothing.. "


So here I am doing a post on Think..


N why the title.. Well I love this song from - Phantom of the Opera
And it goes likes as follows ( PS: this has got just Christine Da'ae's lyrics )


Think of me, think of me fondly,
when we've said goodbye.
Remember me once in a while -
please promise me you'll try.
When you find that, once again,
you long to take your heart
back and be free - if you ever find a moment, spare a thought for me


We never said our love was evergreen,
or as unchanging as the sea -
but if you can still remember
stop and think of me . . .
Think of all the things
we've shared and seen -
don't think about the things
which might have been . . .


Think of me, think of me
waking, silent and resigned.
Imagine me, trying too hard
to put you from my mind.
Recall those days look
back on all those times,
think of the things we'll never do -
there will never be a day,
when I won't think of you . . .


Flowers fades,
The fruits of summer fade,
They have their seasons,
so do we
but please promise me,
that sometimes you will think of me!




And finally finishing off with few quotes that I have found ..


"We must always think about things, and we must think about things as they are, not as they are said to be. " ( Hnmmm well.. u see.. :P )


"I still live, I still think: I still have to live, for I still have to think. " ( This one .. i completely agree upon )


"Men think about women. Women think about what men think about them." ( OK may be not always.. :P )


"What you think about when you don't have to think, shows what you really are. " ( Don't know does it.. !!! )

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." Gotchaaaa !!!!!!!!!!

That's all for now.. Now I will go back to my thinking and wait to see what you guys have thought about this.. :P chaoo